life’s what you make it

 

in 2014, i started my spiritual journey and at first i didn’t even realize that’s what i was doing. i was sitting on the floor with my dog at my lowest point in life, thinking about how miserable i was and how i was tired of being miserable. i was contemplating suicide because i wanted to escape my misery so badly.

then this thought came through my head, “well, if you’re tired of being miserable, just be happy.” after that one thought, it seemed like a thousand other thoughts went through mine. but ultimately, i decided the best way to start being happy was to eliminate the things/people that didn’t make me happy. after i started removing the toxicity in my life, the things that i wanted in life started coming towards me.

from there, i started learning about manifestation and energy vibrations. i learned that the world isn’t what it looks like or what is seems; it’s what you make it. i also learned that society vibrates on low energy frequency (also called fear), and that society’s purpose is to domesticate you into what i call sheeple. Society teaches you anger, jealousy, envy, and fear in order to domesticate yourself.

using this knowledge, i started taking charge of myself and my own life. at this point, i reached the hardest step in my spiritual journey. i had to unlearn what school and society had taught me about life. life wasn’t about how many likes you got on your pictures, how many dates you went on, what your college degree was in, or how much you weigh.

i think the most difficult part about unlearning society’s expectations was when i stopped wearing makeup because when i wasn’t wearing it, i felt ugly. when i was wearing makeup, i felt beautiful and confident. i couldn’t allow myself to let what society taught me about beauty dictate about how i felt about myself because i was and am beautiful all the time.

at this point i had become conscious of my spiritual journey and the next step i took was not limiting my mind to English. i know that sounds strange but i started researching inner peace and every thing i read always pointed to being mindful and aware of what you let yourself think. learning i had the ability to control my thoughts really helped me take control of manifesting my own reality. i would read all of these enlightenment post, articles, and books that would start with, “imagine yourself doing…..”

so i started rolling with that phrase, i imagined myself looking into my mind garden and it full of negative thoughts, or weeds as i like to call them. as i was “looking into my mind garden”, i realized how can i expect positive thoughts, or flowers (: to grow when there’s no room for them. then, i imagined myself pulling all of the weeds out of my garden and then there was nothing in my mind garden. it made me feel anxious and weird, but i listened to what my mind was telling me to do. i imagined myself planting seeds of love in the empty garden, wished them the best of luck in blooming, imagined myself watering them, and then put my mind garden back out into the universe where i could no longer fixate on my mind garden.

from there, every time i would have a negative thought instead of giving that thought power by letting it linger and thinking about it, i would just imagine myself turning the negative thought into a weed and plucking it then it would disintegrate itself back into the neutral cosmic energy. eventually, i could sit down to meditate and imagine myself looking at my mind garden, and to my pleasure found that i could imagine the flower buds of love growing in my mind garden.

now, let’s make it clear those “flowers” grew because i wanted them to grow because i told myself and the universe that i wanted them to grow. it’s helped me realize the power i have over creating my own life, as well as, you always have the ability to be happy. you just have to choose to be happy and happiness will always follow you.

i’ve been tending my mind garden for about a year now, and let me tell you, sometimes, the weeds still find their way in my mind garden. i don’t get upset or angry about it, instead i smile at my own humanness then i pluck it out of my garden and out of my mind.

allowing myself this opportunity to create my own peace has truly changed my life. i hope you can all find your mind gardens and start weeding them appropriately to help yourself.

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