rolling down the mountain

i’ve been finding myself rolling down the mountain that i’ve been trying to conquer. depending on the day, i let gravity just roll me down and sometimes i give it all my might to make it back to the bottom. it wasn’t like i wanted to regress – i just wanted to stop giving so many fucks. well now it’s time to walk back up that mother fuck mountain…again and hopefully climb down the back side to the next mountain.

i found myself feeling fat and ashamed of my body. i didn’t want to talk about my feelings or what was going on in my head. it was like all i could focus on was not letting my mind manifest my bad thoughts.

well, i had to break it to myself–the universe doesn’t work like that. i can’t pray that the thing i don’t want to happen to me, won’t because it will. it will because i’m investing my energy into hoping that it won’t happen, but bottom line is i’m still investing my energy into Fear.

and honestly, i’m tired of investing into fear. in my life, i’ve learned that nothing good comes from directing your energy to Fear or vibrating on a a low frequency created by Fear. i’ve seen what vibrating on Love can do for myself and that’s what i want.

 

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