i’ve known christopher his whole life practically, he’s my little cousin. i saw him every year during the holidays, i have pictures of us together through every phase in our lives. outside of playing with each other on holidays, we didn’t really know each other though.
i remember when my dad called me and told me christopher’s mom died, and i just felt this sadness inside of me and i just cried. my dad asked me why i was crying for someone that i didn’t even know, and i told him that i was crying for christopher because he must be so sad. we continued to grow up, and the older we got, the more he hated me, i felt like.
well, life happened, and he ended up becoming my upstairs roommate. he was stuck with me (:< i was going to get this boy to love me. without much pushing on my end, our relationship blossomed and he brought me into his world. a world where loyalty to your homies is worth more than anything. bringing me into his world was probably one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me. he introduced me to so many people with hearts of mother fucking gold, people i couldn’t imagine my life without.
when i was sick and spending the majority of my time in the doctor’s office, he would always hold me while i cried. he would tell me that i was strong enough and i was going to be okay. there was a point in time when i couldn’t use my legs and he would walk with me down the stairs because he didn’t want me to fall. he’d get fucked up and tell me that he didn’t need a girlfriend because he couldn’t have asked for a better girl best friend. he spent nine days with me in willits, ca and made my trip unforgetable. he’s so thoughtful and he gives hugs that make my day better.
when i imagined having a relationship with christopher, i never imagined having so much love. i’m so eternally grateful for my baby angel. he probably hates that i call him that, but that’s what i see him as an angel. he doesn’t even have the slightest idea of how many people he impacts in a positive way but he continuously brings people up and creates light with them. i’ve had so many great conversations with christopher that changed my outlook on life for the better. it’s just incredible what this boy has done for me. i hope one day he loves himself as much as i love him. that’s my goal for my relationship with christopher because he doesn’t give himself enough credit or love. it breaks my heart, but he’ll learn to love himself. i know he will.
the moment i knew christopher was one of the closest to me in my spiritual family was when we were fucked up sitting on my couch and he sang for me for the first time. i was just in shock that it came out of him, that all i could do was break out in a huge grin – it was so wonderful. and he told me that if he was ever going to be in a band, he would want it to be with me.
moving into this house was such a catalyst. christopher is a catalyst.